I'm gonna need a moment...

"Snowball effect is a figurative term for a process that starts from an initial state of small significance and builds upon itself, becoming larger (graver, more serious), and perhaps potentially dangerous or disastrous (a vicious circle, a "spiral of decline"), though it might be beneficial instead (a virtuous circle)."

Yep. That about sums it up for me! A "spiral of decline". Could be a pretty fitting description of my life the last 10 years or so... ;^) I'm kidding! But while thinking about this post, the "snowball effect" description kept coming back to me. That's how most things go, isn't it? They start from "an initial state of small significance" but end-up so much bigger. And, we find ourselves asking "How did I get here?".

Well, that's where I found myself this week. Wondering "How in the world...?".  I recently finished one of the most amazing books about redemption and the life changing power of the love of Jesus Christ, that I have ever read! And, as with most personal stories of salvation, I was brought back to my own story. What startled me was how far 'back' I had to go! I'm not talking length. I'm talking-digging through all of the layers of 'stuff' that gradually accumulated over the years! I got married; bought a house; had a child; moved; bought another house; had another child. Through it all growing more accustomed to our 'way of life'; being comfortable! And, I needed a moment...

Looking back on it now-I can see how the 'snowball' started. Innocently, really. And, sure, there were times I realized what was going on and repented-giving God control again. But each time it got harder and harder to surrender completely. So, I began giving back almost everything. Keeping just enough... And thus the 'layers' between God and I.

OK, back to the book and my "moment". Reading Chuck Colson's: Born Again, I was confronted with just how far I had come. There was a time when I was filled with such gratitude, that nothing else mattered. For the first time in my life I could laugh-I had real joy! And, as a result, I was willing to give whatever and go wherever-as long as I was following Christ. Everything else was secondary! I guess over time I lost that gratitude; that trust. I forgot what a wonderful mess I made (continue to make) of things when left to myself. I also became afraid. Afraid of losing all that I loved. And sadly, afraid of what my Lord might ask me to 'give-up' for Him. Funny how I could forget, so easily, that everything I had was because of Him! My very life a gift! I want to leave you with the Words the Lord gave me. I'm a work in progress and will continue to be as long as I am on this Earth. I am just grateful for such a loving and long-suffering Father; willing to work with such a mess!

What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us. Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us. And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.      Romans 8:31-39 (NLT)

Loving and praying for you all today!