Sometimes "hard" doesn't even begin to describe it...
Well, it finally happened. 5 years in-and BAM! I wasn't expecting it. I wasn't looking for it. And, frankly I wish it hadn't happened. It may have even happened to you. And, then again maybe not. Either way-you'd remember! OK. So here's what happened...
First, I need to set the scene. It's Friday night 9:00. We are (of course) sitting on the couch watching television, completely exhausted from the days events.On TV is one of my favorite movies of all time: Two Weeks Notice (with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant), hysterical! Well, I get to the part that usually sends me rolling with laughter-(The part where they are stuck in traffic and she's got to "go now!!" and they end-up knocking on the door of an RV and asking to use their bathroom, funny stuff!!) and all I can manage is a slight chuckle...??! "Why?" you might be wondering. Because I'm too busy "flashing back" to the first time I saw this movie. Seem odd? It was! I've seen this movie probably 20 times since and yet, something about this time was different. Or was it-I was different... As I sat there I pictured myself watching this movie for the first time. 22 years old and a bride-to-be. I had the world on a string! Everything was magical, romantic, and fun. Oh, and I slept sooo well. ;^)
(To be honest, I was in no mood to be "philosophical"! I had had a hard week and all I wanted to do was lay on the couch, watch one of my favorite movies, and "veg-out". And, instead I find myself being dragged down memory lane and on the verge of tears!!?)
It was then that I had to admit something: being a wife and a mother is hard. Period. Frankly, I don't even know a word that I feel would adequately describe just how "hard" it really is. Every day we are faced with about 500 choices and it feels like every single one has a lifetime(??!!) of consequences! Oh, and there are no "perfect choices". No, because that would be too easy! (This is where I have to take a deep breath-and refocus my energy...) OK, so-it's hard. :^)
Well, whether this little unexpected moment was a nudging from my Lord; a tempting from my enemy or just me realizing how much my life had really changed-I had to do something with it. Oh, I let it bother me for a couple of days... But, this morning my Lord spoke. I'm starting the Psalms again (how could I go wrong!) and wouldn't you know it Psalm 1:1-6 says this:
6 For the Lord watches over the way of the righteous,
but the way of the wicked will perish.
Now, I'm sure you're thinking "Great passage, Sandy. But what exactly does that have to do with what you are talking about?". Well, I asked my Lord the same question and got this "answer":
So, my prayer today is this: When I am tempted to get overwhelmed by the responsibilities of marriage, children, and well, life-I would remember one thing. I have not been commanded to be the most educated; well-rounded; holistic; frugal; tidy;or perfect-wife/mother/person. I have been commanded by my Lord to: Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:4-5. Therefore, I need only remain "in-step" with my Lord and walking with Him daily to be becoming the wife/mother/person-He would have me to be.
So, my life may be a lot more-full-these days (you like that positive spin!) and I may not be able to make the world all "sunshine and rainbows" again. But that's OK. I wouldn't trade my kids, my husband-my life as it is now-for all of the "relaxed-sit down dinners and sleep" in the World! Because my God is using these things to draw me closer to Him and to show me true Joy. And, that is more than worth it, to me.
Loving and praying for us all today!
First, I need to set the scene. It's Friday night 9:00. We are (of course) sitting on the couch watching television, completely exhausted from the days events.On TV is one of my favorite movies of all time: Two Weeks Notice (with Sandra Bullock and Hugh Grant), hysterical! Well, I get to the part that usually sends me rolling with laughter-(The part where they are stuck in traffic and she's got to "go now!!" and they end-up knocking on the door of an RV and asking to use their bathroom, funny stuff!!) and all I can manage is a slight chuckle...??! "Why?" you might be wondering. Because I'm too busy "flashing back" to the first time I saw this movie. Seem odd? It was! I've seen this movie probably 20 times since and yet, something about this time was different. Or was it-I was different... As I sat there I pictured myself watching this movie for the first time. 22 years old and a bride-to-be. I had the world on a string! Everything was magical, romantic, and fun. Oh, and I slept sooo well. ;^)
(To be honest, I was in no mood to be "philosophical"! I had had a hard week and all I wanted to do was lay on the couch, watch one of my favorite movies, and "veg-out". And, instead I find myself being dragged down memory lane and on the verge of tears!!?)
It was then that I had to admit something: being a wife and a mother is hard. Period. Frankly, I don't even know a word that I feel would adequately describe just how "hard" it really is. Every day we are faced with about 500 choices and it feels like every single one has a lifetime(??!!) of consequences! Oh, and there are no "perfect choices". No, because that would be too easy! (This is where I have to take a deep breath-and refocus my energy...) OK, so-it's hard. :^)
Well, whether this little unexpected moment was a nudging from my Lord; a tempting from my enemy or just me realizing how much my life had really changed-I had to do something with it. Oh, I let it bother me for a couple of days... But, this morning my Lord spoke. I'm starting the Psalms again (how could I go wrong!) and wouldn't you know it Psalm 1:1-6 says this:
1 Blessed is the man
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
who does not walk in the counsel of the wicked
or stand in the way of sinners
or sit in the seat of mockers.
2 But his delight is in the law of the Lord,
and on his law he meditates day and night.
3 He is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither.
Whatever he does prospers.
4 Not so the wicked!
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.
5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
They are like chaff
that the wind blows away.
5 Therefore the wicked will not stand in the judgment,
nor sinners in the assembly of the righteous.
but the way of the wicked will perish.
Now, I'm sure you're thinking "Great passage, Sandy. But what exactly does that have to do with what you are talking about?". Well, I asked my Lord the same question and got this "answer":
Nowhere in this entire passage does it say I have to have all of the answers. Nowhere does it say I have to make all the right choices. Nowhere does it say that I have to make everyone around me happy. But most important-Nowhere does it say that I'm ever going to walk this "road" alone!!You see, according to God's Word-I am not blessed by making all of the right choices, having all of the answers or doing everything perfect...I am blessed by delighting myself in the Lord and meditating on His Word day and night. Only by staying "planted" in Him will I truly yield fruit of actual worth. ("What good is it for a man to gain the whole world, yet forfeit his own soul?" Mark 8:36) And *bonus* I can't go wrong! (vs 3)
So, my prayer today is this: When I am tempted to get overwhelmed by the responsibilities of marriage, children, and well, life-I would remember one thing. I have not been commanded to be the most educated; well-rounded; holistic; frugal; tidy;or perfect-wife/mother/person. I have been commanded by my Lord to: Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." John 15:4-5. Therefore, I need only remain "in-step" with my Lord and walking with Him daily to be becoming the wife/mother/person-He would have me to be.
So, my life may be a lot more-full-these days (you like that positive spin!) and I may not be able to make the world all "sunshine and rainbows" again. But that's OK. I wouldn't trade my kids, my husband-my life as it is now-for all of the "relaxed-sit down dinners and sleep" in the World! Because my God is using these things to draw me closer to Him and to show me true Joy. And, that is more than worth it, to me.
Loving and praying for us all today!
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