The war rages on...

I am weary.

I am-and I hate it! You see, I want to "run this race" with all I've got... and yet, more often than not-I am weary. I don't know if you've ever tried to run "weary"? If you have, you know it's like running all uphill, with 50 extra lbs on your back. It's awful and incredibly defeating. And honestly, that's sort of how I've been feeling lately. Defeated. For example: I'm on year 11 praying for someone I love who struggles with alcohol addiction. There have been small victories and yet, the war rages on. Drugs currently hold another hostage; I'm on year 10 praying for him. Mental illness, anger, bitterness, rage... And everywhere I turn it seems as if I'm losing.

This war that rages is an awful one, isn't it? Lives are destroyed. Families dismantled and hope... well, hope seems out of reach. And, yet here I stand. Not defeated. Weary for a time but ultimately renewed. Restored and rejuvenated! You see, this war may be raging. And, raging hard. But it is already won!!  "I have told you all this so that you may have peace in me. Here on earth you will have many trials and sorrows. But take heart, because I have overcome the world.” John 16:33 (NLT) Jesus has conquered this world (hello Easter!!) and we are living in that victory! :)  

But, if I'm being honest with you-some days that victory seems light years away. So, what does that mean for me? How do I find victory daily-when this war is ravaging and claiming those I love? I go to my Rock. The One who saved me. And, I lean on his Word and his promises. I will leave you with 2 scriptures God has given me. One changed my perspective. And, one helps me to press on. To realize I don't have the strength to continue to wage this war but my God does. 

10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places. 13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared.16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil.17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. 18 Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere. Ephesians 6:10-18 (NLT)

 In 2 Corinthians 4, Paul talks about their struggles as they spread the gospel. As they waged the same war we, as followers of Christ, are waging even today. Note: I thought about taking out a few verses, so as not to overwhelm-I couldn't. It's just too awesome! :)

7-12If you only look at us, you might well miss the brightness. We carry this precious Message around in the unadorned clay pots of our ordinary lives. That's to prevent anyone from confusing God's incomparable power with us. As it is, there's not much chance of that. You know for yourselves that we're not much to look at. We've been surrounded and battered by troubles, but we're not demoralized; we're not sure what to do, but we know that God knows what to do; we've been spiritually terrorized, but God hasn't left our side; we've been thrown down, but we haven't broken. What they did to Jesus, they do to us—trial and torture, mockery and murder; what Jesus did among them, he does in us—he lives! Our lives are at constant risk for Jesus' sake, which makes Jesus' life all the more evident in us. While we're going through the worst, you're getting in on the best!

13-15We're not keeping this quiet, not on your life. Just like the psalmist who wrote, "I believed it, so I said it," we say what we believe. And what we believe is that the One who raised up the Master Jesus will just as certainly raise us up with you, alive. Every detail works to your advantage and to God's glory: more and more grace, more and more people, more and more praise!

16-18 So we're not giving up. How could we! Even though on the outside it often looks like things are falling apart on us, on the inside, where God is making new life, not a day goes by without his unfolding grace. These hard times are small potatoes compared to the coming good times, the lavish celebration prepared for us. There's far more here than meets the eye. The things we see now are here today, gone tomorrow. But the things we can't see now will last forever. 2 Corinthians 4:7-18 (The Message)

My prayer today is this: That I would press on. That I would not grow weary. And, that I would not lose hope. Christ has won this war and brought me victory! And, finally, as it says in Hebrews 12: "let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart." Hebrews 12:1-3 (NIV)

Loving and praying for you all today!