There is gold behind the guilt...?
From an email to my mom's group:
I'm going to dive right in! I have to confess I've been waiting to share this with you for some time. Why? Because it is not even 10AM and I can count about a dozen times today already that I have experienced some sort of guilt. You know what I'm talking about-that thing often referred to as "mommy guilt". Can I tell you, of all the aspects of parenting, this is the one I was least prepared for. My child is watching cartoons as I'm writing this-guilt! He had chocolate milk for breakfast-guilt! He's playing alone while I'm on the computer feet away-GUILT! Ok, so I want to spend as little time as possible on what makes us feel guilty-we don't need a reminder, right. What we do need is a Savior! :) And praise God he has provided us with one!!
I've shared excerpts from this book before. It is a really good book on how the Lord uses the process of parenting in our spiritual journey. From Sacred Parenting:
It's not hard to make any parent feel guilty, because we know we can always do more than we do. We can spend more time with the kids, provide a better house or living environment, listen to them more, pray for them more, respond in a more patient manner. (p. 38)
Guilt is a fierce reality, an eternal judgment of damnation-but God has provided a cure in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.What once was deadly can now play a positive role in our lives and hearts and souls... so we Christian parents can talk about several positive roles that guilt can play in our lives. (p.45)
Sometimes we parents need to remind ourselves of a few basic facts. First, we're not God. We're going to miss some cues. We're going to feel tired. We're going to occasionally get distracted by our own temptations and failings. Sometimes our parental vision will be impaired by our own health needs, vocational concerns, or even ministry obligations. Since we are finite human beings with limited understanding who require a certain amount of sleep, we can't be God to our kids. (Praise God!) (p. 46)
When guilt feelings keep us self-absorbed, destroy our motivation, and make us discouraged, guilt has become... not a good thing.But when guilt reminds us that we are insufficient, and when this insufficiency points us to God-his forgiveness, his empowering Spirit, and his provision of grace-then guilt becomes a spiritual car wash... That's one of the healthy roles that guilt can play for parents: pointing us and our children to God. (p. 47)
Don't look at your failings apart from God's grace and God's provision. Guilt becomes dead weight when you become consumed by your fialings, past or present. But guilt can become positive motivation when you hear our Lord say, "Then neither do I condemn you... Go now and leave your life of sin" (John 8:11) (p. 47)
A parent who loves mercy feels so thankful for the mercy God has shown them that he or she frequently mentions it to others. Such a mom or dad cherishes mercy; the mere thought of it warms her heart, brings a smile to his face. The person who truly loves mercy will have a childlike awe and wonder: "God has shown me mercy!"... Guilt is a terrible reality, but mercy is more wonderful than guilt is terrible ("mercy triumphs over judgment"[James 2:13])... Facing the reality of guilt head-on, unflinchingly, we open ourselves to the even more beautiful reality of God's mercy.
And my favorite quote:
Turn guilt feelings into a call to worship! Acknowledge your guilt, and then thank God that he has made provision for your guilt. Confess that you have fallen short as a parent, but then expend just as much energy worshiping the God who forgives and who will show mercy to you in your failings. And then apply this same mercy to your children and your own parents... It may sound crazy, but using guilt as a call to adoration can turn parental guilt into a pathway toward intimacy with God. (p. 49)
The last part of this chapter includes a short story that brought tears to my eyes. He tells of a little boy so desperate to serve his daddy that he makes a HUGE mess in the process. The conclusion gave me shivers, once again, when I read it this morning so I too will conclude with it.
We're the little child, trying to serve our heavenly Father and making a lot of messes in the process. We can't reach as high as we'd like, so we make do with makeshift steps to reach the counter. We knock over a few glasses, and we spill the milk while we're trying to prepare a drink. Lacking in wisdom, we come up with the great idea of cleaning up the mess with our shirt instead of with a washcloth. But what dad wouldn't feel touched by such a display of service, however messy it might be.
We're not the best parents, not by far. We don't have all the wisdom we'd like. We don't understand how everything fits together.We make mistakes, we make mess, we can do everything wrong-but God looks at us with a Father's delighted eyes. Where we see weakness, God see humility. Where we see messes, God sees intent. Where we see failings, God sees motives.
And he smiles. He takes us into his arms. And he laughs a delighted Father's laugh. (p. 52)
Truly loving you and praying for you today!
Sandy
I'm going to dive right in! I have to confess I've been waiting to share this with you for some time. Why? Because it is not even 10AM and I can count about a dozen times today already that I have experienced some sort of guilt. You know what I'm talking about-that thing often referred to as "mommy guilt". Can I tell you, of all the aspects of parenting, this is the one I was least prepared for. My child is watching cartoons as I'm writing this-guilt! He had chocolate milk for breakfast-guilt! He's playing alone while I'm on the computer feet away-GUILT! Ok, so I want to spend as little time as possible on what makes us feel guilty-we don't need a reminder, right. What we do need is a Savior! :) And praise God he has provided us with one!!
I've shared excerpts from this book before. It is a really good book on how the Lord uses the process of parenting in our spiritual journey. From Sacred Parenting:
It's not hard to make any parent feel guilty, because we know we can always do more than we do. We can spend more time with the kids, provide a better house or living environment, listen to them more, pray for them more, respond in a more patient manner. (p. 38)
Guilt is a fierce reality, an eternal judgment of damnation-but God has provided a cure in the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ.What once was deadly can now play a positive role in our lives and hearts and souls... so we Christian parents can talk about several positive roles that guilt can play in our lives. (p.45)
Sometimes we parents need to remind ourselves of a few basic facts. First, we're not God. We're going to miss some cues. We're going to feel tired. We're going to occasionally get distracted by our own temptations and failings. Sometimes our parental vision will be impaired by our own health needs, vocational concerns, or even ministry obligations. Since we are finite human beings with limited understanding who require a certain amount of sleep, we can't be God to our kids. (Praise God!) (p. 46)
When guilt feelings keep us self-absorbed, destroy our motivation, and make us discouraged, guilt has become... not a good thing.But when guilt reminds us that we are insufficient, and when this insufficiency points us to God-his forgiveness, his empowering Spirit, and his provision of grace-then guilt becomes a spiritual car wash... That's one of the healthy roles that guilt can play for parents: pointing us and our children to God. (p. 47)
Don't look at your failings apart from God's grace and God's provision. Guilt becomes dead weight when you become consumed by your fialings, past or present. But guilt can become positive motivation when you hear our Lord say, "Then neither do I condemn you... Go now and leave your life of sin" (John 8:11) (p. 47)
A parent who loves mercy feels so thankful for the mercy God has shown them that he or she frequently mentions it to others. Such a mom or dad cherishes mercy; the mere thought of it warms her heart, brings a smile to his face. The person who truly loves mercy will have a childlike awe and wonder: "God has shown me mercy!"... Guilt is a terrible reality, but mercy is more wonderful than guilt is terrible ("mercy triumphs over judgment"[James 2:13])... Facing the reality of guilt head-on, unflinchingly, we open ourselves to the even more beautiful reality of God's mercy.
And my favorite quote:
Turn guilt feelings into a call to worship! Acknowledge your guilt, and then thank God that he has made provision for your guilt. Confess that you have fallen short as a parent, but then expend just as much energy worshiping the God who forgives and who will show mercy to you in your failings. And then apply this same mercy to your children and your own parents... It may sound crazy, but using guilt as a call to adoration can turn parental guilt into a pathway toward intimacy with God. (p. 49)
The last part of this chapter includes a short story that brought tears to my eyes. He tells of a little boy so desperate to serve his daddy that he makes a HUGE mess in the process. The conclusion gave me shivers, once again, when I read it this morning so I too will conclude with it.
We're the little child, trying to serve our heavenly Father and making a lot of messes in the process. We can't reach as high as we'd like, so we make do with makeshift steps to reach the counter. We knock over a few glasses, and we spill the milk while we're trying to prepare a drink. Lacking in wisdom, we come up with the great idea of cleaning up the mess with our shirt instead of with a washcloth. But what dad wouldn't feel touched by such a display of service, however messy it might be.
We're not the best parents, not by far. We don't have all the wisdom we'd like. We don't understand how everything fits together.We make mistakes, we make mess, we can do everything wrong-but God looks at us with a Father's delighted eyes. Where we see weakness, God see humility. Where we see messes, God sees intent. Where we see failings, God sees motives.
And he smiles. He takes us into his arms. And he laughs a delighted Father's laugh. (p. 52)
Truly loving you and praying for you today!
Sandy
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