If Your Empathy Isn't Costing You Anything - You're Doing It Wrong.

em·pa·thy

/ˈempəTHē/

Learn to pronounce

noun

1. the ability to understand and share the feelings of another.

Alongside compassion, empathy is the word of the season, isn't it? Whether we're talking about this election season, the season of the pandemic, or as we navigate, yet another, season of reconciling (or at the very least attempting to reconcile) our racist past, as a nation. 

Compassion.

Empathy.

While any one of these topics could be fodder for a post - I want to talk about the election. And specifically about abortion. As you know, abortion is a topic very personal for me. I've written about it multiple times over the years. When I was 19 years old I had my baby aborted. I detail my experience HERE and expound on why I am decidedly anti-abortion HERE.

Recently, it seems, abortion has become quite the 'hot button' topic, right? Republicans claiming they are the only ones trying to "save lives". They claim compassion and empathy toward the unborn. Democrats claiming they are simply trying to "preserve choice" and claiming compassion and empathy toward the mothers and women as a whole.  

Both sides claim compassion.

Both sides feign empathy. 

So, who's right? Who tells the truth? In my experience it's neither. And both.

 

Democrats claim compassion and empathy for the marginalized woman who feels she is unable to care for her child. Or the single mom who pursues an education or work and is unsure of how she can manage both.  So, they posit, the most humane option is abortion. Are there other options given? In my experience, no. At no point in my abortion process was I ever given alternatives. (And, incidentally, I even ended up going to two separate clinics as my pregnancy was further along than I thought.) They also offered no acknowledgment of the long term effects of abortion. I was reassured, via video, over and over how "relieved" I would feel. That most women never give a second thought to their decision to abort. There's also the unspoken message that a child, in a situation that is unfavorable or unconventional, is better off dead. Is this the message we want to be sending as a nation? Could this be responsible for our callousness toward life in general? Or at least partly?

Republicans, rightly, view abortion as wrong and should therefore be illegal. However, they offer no support or even services for the struggling mom to be. They are often openly hostile to the poor and marginalized. Treating asylum seekers inhumanely. And legislatively, show disdain for unwed mothers and those requiring public assistance.  Not exactly a party those seeking abortions would consider "friendly" to their plight.

So, we're left to question: What do we do? How do we preserve and protect life - literally? Will a Republican in office really result in fewer abortions? Or a Democrat more? There are people much smarter than I that have run the numbers on this based on past administrations. The numbers are "fuzzy" at best. Yes, placing restrictions (specifically a wait period) have been proven to save babies from abortion. But, by and large, these are local efforts that vary from state to state. 

So, the question becomes: Does either party have the capacity to "end abortion"? 

I want to stop here and reiterate that I believe abortion is heinous. It is evil, as it's destructive in nature. Literally destroying everything it touches. A life is taken and there is no way to philosophize or narrate that away. We as a nation and as individuals must do all that we can to prevent them. 

But here's the thing - we ALL have to be willing to do the work. 

*Would you be willing to pay more in taxes so that those on the margins with unplanned pregnancies could provide for their child?

*Would you be willing to provide free child care for single working mothers?

*Allow and even welcome subsidized housing in your neighborhood so that low income families with children could send their children to the schools they choose?

*Would you oppose racial profiling or brutality against black and brown people?

You see, each and every one of these things would reduce abortions. And yet, we talk as though the "only way" is through legislation! Why? Perhaps because it's easy? Or because it only affects those on the margins? Taxes affect us all, right? Subsidized housing might lower your property values and providing free childcare will eat into your bottom line...

As it should. 

Did you read that right?

Compassion.

Empathy.

Fighting for the unborn should cost us ALL something. 

I am not here to tell you how to vote. If you are currently "undecided" (quite possibly as rare as the unicorn?) I applaud you. 

Thank-you for wrestling with this decision. 

Thank-you for taking the time to weigh the facts. 

And for giving this, what I hope is, such discerning thought. 

And, whatever we vote this November, know this: 

We will not legislate our way to fewer abortions. Not really. The "work" begins with us - you and me. We - not Congress, the Supreme Court, or whichever man holds the 'highest office in the land' - We are the ones with the power to end abortions. 

Are we willing to do the actual work to end them?